The rest of the Observation Book:

This is going to be a long one : /

My favorite one:

Loud Shirts

My description of a loud shirt does not consist of any sort of highly colorful or flashy shirt. Oh no, it consists of those shirts that tastelessly mix beer bottles, palm tree leaves and sharks. They scream as much color as most of us ever see in a lifetime and classically surround beer bellies. Whose idea was it to form a collage of orange maple leaves, green and purple margaritas, and red dragons? They always include three and only three concepts. The the third concept is left up to its "designer" while the first concept is some sort of plant and the second is a type of alcoholic beverage. These are the things that make an official loud shirt. All other collage type shirts are just tacky.

Halloween

Every Halloween that passes I never fail to notice at least 25% of Halloween "costumes" are of people dressed up in sleep wear. May I ask - what are these people supposed to be? Sleepers? The essence of night time? What?!?! I say these people are dressing up as lazy bastards. Its the equivalent of dressing up as yourself - not really a costume....ever. Its an excuse for not being more clever, waiting until the last minute, or being a lazy bastard! All these people have in mind is when they are "dressing up" for trick or treating is that they'll be ready for bed when they get home. They can walk off the dirty neighborhood streets all sweaty with dirty slippers and crawl in bed. Its not even fair for these people to look at other peoples costumes. Who are they to admire effort? Also, in closing, why do these people ALWAYS enter the costume contest?

Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too:

Why is that every fat trailer park living white woman owns an entire wardrobe of Winnie the Pooh (WTP) related outfits (and stretch pants, but that's another observation)? At first I figured it was because that's what they sell in Wal-Mart, but Wal-Mart only sells it because fat trailer park living white women wear and buy it. I just can't understand why this is ok. WTP is for children...C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N! There is nothing in this world that could possibly make you more sexy than WTP holding a pot of honey and chasing a butterfly with a net. They always make these shirts really long too. There are two reasons for this: First, to cover their fat ass and pootch in the day time and second, once stretch pants are removed, they are an instant night shirt! Maybe they're adored so much because they're so damn efficient! You never have to change.

Ok, well that's it for the book. I didn't get too many things written in there as I would have liked, but typing is easier. :)